This is an open letter to all the young men, husbands and fathers out there. This is a desperate plea from the heart of almost every Christian young woman in the world.
As I am sure you have noticed, there is a sad dearth of upstanding, honorable guys out there. (I am aware that this applies to girls too and I will be writing an article to my own kind soon!) If you are one of the few, I want to say thank you so much for being willing to stand alone. Your courage is not wasted.
In my immediate sphere of social interaction, there are at least six girls and four guys who who have either a very poor or nonexistent father.
I am one of those girls.
My dad decided he loved a woman I don't even know and pornography more than he loved my mom, siblings and I. My parents are in the middle of a divorce right now.
Not having a father has left many scars and wounds on my fragile heart. The pain and rejection hurts. But I have been given a voice in this fight and I intend to use it.
Now you know my story. I know that many of you may deeply resonate with my little life. Many of you have had your father fail you. Some of you may have a worse father than I do.
I know that as guys you want to have a girl see you as her hero, her prince. I know that as a girl, I want a hero and a prince, a man who will love me for ever and always. I know that there are so many struggles facing you as young men that threaten to steal your virtue and courage away. I'm also aware that some of my dear fellow females like to make it rather difficult for you guys. This is not acceptable.
But you guys are still responsible for your actions. I have been mistreated by guys from my own church. I have had damaging things said to me. I know what it is like to be treated like a toy to tease and then ignore at will. And so does almost every other teen girl out there. I'm not fishing for apologies and I am glad that I was treated that way because now I am even more passionate.
Culture has taken its toll on this gereneration. The wide acceptance of pornography is one of the biggest problems I can think of. I can't count the number of people I know or know of who are currently or used to be addicted to porn or who have in some way been affected by it. Many people think that it is either of no consequence or that it is not as bad as some say. But the truth is that 'porn kills love.' Somehow it changes the mind and guys start seeing girls as tools, pieces of meat. Females lose our humanity in their eyes. All of a sudden, girls are just toys to be played with and then thrown aside when you get bored.
Some of y'all are reading this and are nodding. Some are angry. Some of you guys may not be reading anymore. Thank you to those of you who are still reading. Please know that I am not blanket statementing (is that a word?) all guys. I know that many of you strive to respect girls and I am so grateful for you!
Guys like my dad didn't turn into the men that they are overnight. It started when my dad was a young man. Little instances when he decided to let a small moral slip tallied up and now he is who he is. Brothers! Please, strive to be young men of honor. Your purity is the most valuable gift you could ever give the woman you marry. We want our future husbands be sound and strong in mind and heart. We want them to be pure in in actions and thoughts and in what they place before their eyes.
The devaluing of girls is also found in what is said to us. Dear brothers, girls are not "hot" we are beautiful. We are more than our appearances and bodies. Just as the real you and the important you is on the inside, our value is found inside as well. So many times, a girl is liked not because of who she is, but because of the fact that she is a girl and what she has as one.
I am sure that you all wish I would end this letter right now and I will. Thank you for reading this far. This was not easy to write. I wrote this because I care about you guys. I know that many times you are not aware of the impact of your words and actions, as is true of all humans . But I challenge you to think about it. You can change this society. You can reverse this curse.
Thank you for letting me share this with you. If you would like to share a message with us girls, I would love to post it here. I plan to write a letter to my fellow girls but I would love to hear what you guys wish we would change.