Tuesday, March 22, 2016

In all Honesty

Hey y'all!
     So, if you are a nut like me, you listen to a whole lot of Klove. They have been playing  song called "If we're honest" by Francesca Battistelli. It is a really good song about how we need to be transparent. How we need to not hide our scars. About how we need to be open and honest about who we are, because we are all messed up and none of us are perfect.
     My cousin has a friend who is from Germany. I got the opportunity to talk with him and one of the things he said was about how Americans are so fake. He explained that in Germany when someone asks you how you are doing or how things are going, they expect a real, genuine reply, not just a "I'm fine. How about you?" In the american culture, this is a very rare and, often times, scary thing.

         It would change our lives
              It would set us free
         It's what we need to be
            ~ If We're Honest - 
            Francesca  Battistelli ~

     Friends, this is so true! I know this just as truly as the next person. I have been the type that just shuffles, smiles and gives a pathetic "I'm good! How have you been?" I still do it with some people. But in the past year, I have learned that when I am open with someone I trust, I am able to get help on so many levels. I have someone to talk to, have pray for me, to pray for, the list goes on. I have dealt with a lot of things in my little life, things like paralyzing fear that squeezes the faith and trust out of my heart with an icy, relentless grip. I have faced mild depression that made me feel as though my life is a dark, dismal hole that reaches into the outskirts of infinity. I have felt the pain of not having a friend and wondering what is wrong with me, what makes people not want to be my friend. I know what the gaping hole that is left by a father that chooses himself and his passions over me and my family feels like. I know what it is like to stare uncertainty in the face. Y'all, I could easily have a lot to hide.
     I have dwelt in the shadows of the perfect girl facade for far too long.  I want to break free. I want to be honest, lay my heart and my struggles bare and simply be myself.
      None of us are perfect. We all have scars, bumps and bruises. We all have struggles and things we would love to have stay buried in the past. Bu you know what? That is okay. That's right, it is okay that you are not okay. It is okay that I am not okay.
      Something I struggle with is seeing myself as a daughter of Christ. Viewing God as my father is not an easy undertaking when I do not have an earthly father that shows me the love that a father ought to show his children. But even in my doubts and fears, God whispers "Come to Me. Rest in Me. I have chosen you and you are Mine. You are my daughter and I am your Father. Stop trying to figure out why I love you and just rest in the fact that I do. There is nothing you can ever do to make me not want you or not love you. You are my child, chosen before the foundation of the world and I love you." He takes my scars and covers them in His blood. He takes my broken pieces and puts them back together, even more beautifully than before. My brokenness is a perfect opportunity for His glorious light to shine through.

   Praise God we don't have to hide scars
            They strengthen our wounds        
              and they soften our hearts
     They remind us where we have been
                     Not who we are 
                ~Scars - Jonny Diaz ~

      Dear friends, please stop hiding your beautiful stories. I know that right now the pain may be more than you can bear, but keep holding tightly to the One who will never let you go. He is making something BEAUTIFUL out of your mess and broken pieces. Your scars don't define you. Jesus does.   Stop trying to be someone that you are not. You don't always have to be okay. Reach out and be honest. You may have heard it said that "the fist step is admitting it" and this is so very true. Admit that you aren't perfect. Say it with me, "I am not perfect and I don't have to be okay." Be honest with the people that love you. Walk in the freedom that comes from not hiding in the shadows of perfection. God never made you to be perfect. 
      I would love to hear your story of how you are letting God's beautiful light shine through the cracks in your heart. Feel free to share in the comment section. 
      It is time to be honest. Time to let down the walls and let people see the real you, because it is beautiful.

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